Are you an inn keeper or a shepherd?

Time seems to be slowing down, lol, finally!  All of our projects are nearly finished, baking is underway, school has been set aside and we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Erik's brother from Boise and my nieces and nephew. My thoughts have been turning away from the hustle and bustle to toward the inner work that I so enjoy cultivating as we head into Christmas and the Holy Nights that follow.  

A few months back I stumbled across a lecture and I made a note to read it again at Christmas time. While I don't religiously agree with all that Steiner asserts in this lecture, I DO strongly feel that he was inspired.  There are pieces of the lecture that made me stand up and cheer and really deeply contemplate the question... Am I an inn keeper or a shepherd? 

Steiner said:
"From the simple “Shepherd Play,” a bridge will lead us to the finest attainable comprehension if we cultivate spiritual science to the degree that we have the mentality of the shepherds rather than that of the innkeepers. The contrast between materialism and spiritualism is wonderfully described in the characters of the innkeepers and the shepherds. In fact, the great problem of our time is whether we wish to be innkeepers or shepherds. Many of today's events may be traced to the fact that people prefer to be innkeepers. The innkeeper nature is widespread in the world today; we must again work to become the shepherds. Naturally, there are man disbelievers, even among the shepherds. When one of the shepherds says, “I think I see a light yonder” (which means, “I perceive something of a spiritual nature.), there will always be another shepherd who will be slow to agree, saying it is just a fantasy."

What does that make me? As mothers we often tend to be both, many of us are working to pull away from the inn keeper and striving more and more to be a shepherd for our families.  This time of the year smacks us in the face a bit and many of us struggle to push away the persona of the inn keeper -  "I want to have a simple Christmas" turns easily to "oh that wooden doll house would be so nice under the tree for Suzy." It can be so hard! It made me wonder... can we, as mothers, lovers of Waldorf *stuff*, care givers, ever just be shepherds? Maybe some days, at least we can hope right?  

More from Steiner:
"Of course, we must be able to distinguish between the nature of an innkeeper and a shepherd; after all, don't innkeepers surround us on all sides? Wherever we go, they surround us, yet we convince ourselves that we are shepherds. This is natural, but we must not ignore this: We must investigate, at least in a small way, the innkeeper's nature within ourselves, and not view ourselves too certainly as the shepherds. We must occasionally ask ourselves, “Are we already able to see the approaching light, which will proclaim what must come through the new spiritual science?” We should cultivate inwardly everything that can keep alive the inner feeling for celebrating Christmas in our hearts through this new spiritual direction; this feeling will help us seek the light in the midst of darkness. We must seek and truly be willing to seek, however, in the right way. While we are seeking, we must truly have the feeling that we cannot reach our goal by trying only once; we must return again and again as the shepherds did, for they promised that they could come again and would not be satisfied to come only once.This is a fact; yet, people can become shepherds if they can begin now to develop within themselves the side of their nature that is not derived from earthly experience — if they can find, instead, a connection with what they brought to earth with them in their innermost being from the heavenly realms. People today stand far too firmly within the “house” where they can get what the innkeeper has to offer — what was brought from the earthly realms, and this can be evaluated only through earthly discrimination. On the other hand, those who still have a certain relationship with everything spiritual that surges and pulses through the world — those who have kept their shepherd nature — will be able to find the paths; they are able to discover that, in reality, ordinary knowledge finds only the outer appearance. People will gradually begin to understand Christmas when they learn to distinguish the innkeeper's nature from that of the shepherd, and when they come to realize how predominant the innkeeper's nature is today."

I do think we can all work to cultivate our inner shepherd.  It doesn't mean that we won't slip into the earthy, materialistic realm, but being conscious of it, accepting it and walking back to the road of the shepherd allows us to continually seek, just as the shepherds did, seeking again and again.

As you walk through the next few days, contemplate the shepherd within. Do you continue to seek? Again and again?   

Love and blessings.

Comments

[Amy]

Thank you for sharing this. I really needed to contemplate it because this holiday season has been ruled by fear for us as a family. I am finding it is hard to see the light when all of the material security is stripped away. We are so used to seeing "light" in fancy Christmas table place settings just so or those heirloom decorations we all long to have. Truly finding the light within instead of without is hard. Finding calm in the storm is more difficult than I imagined...but there is always hope.

[Melisa Nielsen]

I have had years where this has really been a struggle. The first year after my divorce, the kids went with their father and he wouldn't let me see them on Christmas day, it was really hard. We didn't have much in the way of decorations or gifts and there I sat on Christmas Eve, no children, crying. I vowed that I would never go there again. We are so much more than this physical place - we are children of the Divine. We all have it in us to be shepherds - we just forget. I have been listening to Wayne this week, a new one for me that you might enjoy Amy. I am listening to the audio, but it is just Wayne reading the book, it is called Excuses Be Gone. One of the things I loved about it was that it seems to combine some of the ideas that Byron Katie brings about in The Work. My favorite new question when I am encountered with an excuse like "it's too hard" or my personal favorite, lol "I don't have the money" is to say "IS IT TRUE?" The money cracks me up because if I have that mindset then of course money will be an obstacle, but when I've opened myself to saying, "I like to make this happen, resources come to me all the time." Realizing that money isn't the only energy mover was HUGE for me. When I open to all I can receive then it doesn't matter if it is money or a gift card or someone offering it to me or MIL feeling like she's got a bit to spare and wants to share it... when I am open, light can come in so many ways.

There is hope my dear. This week will be over soon and you can focus on what I tend to... the joy of greeting a new year... all fresh, full of possibilities for abundance, happiness and much more.

I have a collected of Wayne quotes and this one sticks with me..."abundance isn't something you acquire, it is something you arrive to." My prayer for you and others is that you find what makes your heart sing and stay there! Love to you.