Welcome to A Little Garden Flower & Waldorf Essentials

More thoughts on the Will... for Mom

As we get ready to start the Be a Beacon series, I have been meditating on moms a lot. I often hear "I am trying this but don't see a change"  or "how long does this will thing take?"  I know that when I say "it is a journey" sometimes it just irritates people so I began meditating on a good analogy.  I started thinking about professional sports stars.  If you woke up tomorrow and decided you wanted to be a basketball star but didn't know anything about basketball, how would you go about learning?  First you would have to learn about the game - all the rules.  Then you would have to learn how to play the game.  You would still not be an expert - there would be endless days of practice.  Practice.  Without practice we can not excel. Practice doesn't mean we do a bunch and then declare we are finished - practice means working on with iron perseverance, here a little, there a little, line upon line.  Daily practice.

So the next time you fight prayer and meditation... think about the daily practice that must happen in order for someone like Michael Jordan to be great - then go pray!

With love and support.

Melisa

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! BE A BEACON!

“The self-education of adults is essential for the Waldorf approach to educating children, because Waldorf does not consist solely of methods, techniques, or structures, but rather the development of human capacities – those of the children but also, and more importantly, those of teachers and parents.”

~ Robert McDermott

Welcome to Be A Beacon! You are in for a treat - an inner work treat.  We have been talking about the importance of inner work for years and we are answering a call to address inner work for our very important demographic - MOMS!

There are so many paths to inner work - where do you start? We will explore many paths, many cultures and many teachers.  Among those teachers we will discuss the work of Rudolf Steiner, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Abraham, Deepak Chopra and many more. We will work with concepts from the Bible, Koran, Gita and many other holy books - there are many, many common threads. I will work to relate my own experiences as well to bring you a dynamic program that will have you on the road to really feeling like the BEACON you should be for your family.  This is a very exciting new service and I hope you will all take the journey with us!

"At every moment the listener may say to himself: that, of which they speak, I too can learn, if I develop within myself certain powers which today still slumber within me. There remains only one question — how to set to work to develop such faculties."
~Rudolf Steiner, Knowledge of the Higher Worlds

   Monthly Membership includes:

• Special access to newly recorded shows available only to those participating in the program.  These shows are meant to get you started on this journey and to get you thinking about what inner work means to you. These recordings include:
• Welcome to "Be a Beacon"
• Catalysts for Change
• Personal Gurus
• The Importance of Inner Work
• How to Meditate
• Bi weekly lessons and discussions delivered via private yahoo group
• 2 monthly private live radio shows/interactive chats
• Archives available for duration of membership
• Planning and goal setting tools geared directly to Waldorf homeschooling
• In depth inner work study covering many faith groups, including in depth Steiner and other modern inner work experts.

Some of the monthly themes include: getting started right, relationships, balancing, knowing when to cut back and how, Steiner's basic 6 in depth,  festivals and inner work meanings, exploring biography, mediation through Waldorf art and so much more.

When you join, you will also receive recommended reading and tools to get you started along with an invitation to join the private group.

Register through our store - we have monthly, quarterly and six month options.  Sign up soon!  The series starts on Thursday, November 12 at 9pm EST.

Grade three paintings and planning

Ellie aka Smurfette has been loving grade three. Her writing is coming along on its own and she is really blossoming - of course right along with being a moody almost nine-year-old!  I wanted to share this painting that we worked on a couple weeks ago from the garden of Eden.  It is one that I found last year on a blog I love to visit, Teaching Handwork. I generally keep a folder on my computer for paintings, drawings or other lessons that I might want to use with our school work.  This really helps me in planning.  When I do my planning, I sit and print out batches at a time that I may want to try before bringing them to my children.  I know that I discuss planning a lot and I know there are some moms that roll their eyes, but really there is no substitute for it.  In the days since my recent accident, I have really come to appreciate the planning I did a few months back - I took the time to really make sure our lessons were laid out. 

Planning gives us such freedom!  Freedom to really take things deeper or to realize that we were the ones that needed the depth and we can move on when we see our child is ready.  Sometimes we plan big elaborate lessons just to have our child not connect with the material as we hoped - in years past, I may have looked at that as a failure on my part, but I have recently, through my own inner work, realized that I often go deep in planning a particular lesson block because I needed to!  There was a gap that I needed to understand and that my enthusiasm brought to my child just what it needed to and the rest of the knowledge is mine to treasure - my own little friendship with the material.  Really and truly, take the time to plan!  And then take the time to LIVE - enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Many blessings!

Melisa Nielsen

Nov 2 Radio Show Winter Festivals

Late Fall & Early Winter Festivals

The focus of this show was late fall and early winter festivals: Martinmas, Advent, St. Nick and also a couple minutes discussing US Thanksgiving.  We discuss planning for festivals as well as an in depth look at celebration ideas.  You can listen at blogtalkradio.com/alittlegardenflower

Show sponsor: Jodie @ homemusicmaking.blogspot.com

Notes from the Garden:
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT coming from us this Friday, Nov. 6th - check back each day for hints!

We have lots of fun new handwork kits in the store starting at $8.50.  These are great gifts or fun fast projects.

Over extending ourselves

I find that most moms I know have that natural woman thing going - we are perpetual people pleasers.  We don't want to let anyone down - not our partner, not our kids, not our friends, not the lady at church... not even someone we hardly know!  We will often sacrifice our own health and well being for someone else.  Sometimes we do this with joy and sometimes we get crabby about it.  I talk to many moms who in reviewing their schedule, realize they have over committed themselves (this is the part where a really good plan comes in) the problem is that then they don't feel like they can go back and change things - too many people will be upset or friends will be mad at them.  I constantly remind moms - and myself - that reviewing is a good thing.  When we review, whether it be in meditation or out loud with a partner or friend, we gain valuable perspective.  We often expect so much more from ourselves than we would of someone else and then we find ourselves dreading some things.

A few years back, my children were all enrolled in homeschool gymnastics with a dear, dear friend.  I loved her so much that I just didn't want her to know how hard it was for our family to get to gymnastics each week.  Everyone was cranky and it just really made for a hard week.  After reviewing during prayer and meditation, I decided that we would take a month off and see how we felt.  Once I took the month off it was amazing it was to not worry about gym day. The cranky behaviors mellowed and we looked forward to our week again.  As much as I loved my friend, I knew she wouldn't want us to be uncomfortable and unhappy.  We stopped going to gymnastics that year and it was the best choice I could have made.  In looking back at the time since then, I have realized that the whole ordeal was just too much for us - the children were over stimulated and it was causing the benefits of being social and exercising to be over shadowed by the negative feelings we all had afterward.   I realized that it was okay to back out on something that I had agreed to.  I had taken on too much.

Since my accident, the team working with me on healing has gotten right to the point with Erik and my office staff about letting me take on too much during my recovery.  Most days I feel pretty good, but there are some where I am almost completely incapacitated and have to remain in bed.  They tell me that everyone heals differently from head trauma.  Spirit continues to tell me not to fight it, to go with the flow and learn the lessons and allow those I have served for so long to now help me.  This is a really hard thing for me - I am learning!  Recently, I had to back out of a speaking engagement that I agree to before my accident.  It was something I really agonized about but while reviewing it with our board I was reminded that I needed to focus on other tasks - the first one being to heal - so that I can be full force once again.  So while it was hard, I backed out.  What had been a day filled with pain became an evening filled with relief and soothing.  I had done the right thing, Spirit confirmed it and I was released from the related stress.

So often we worry that changing our mind will make others think poorly of us - we need to realize that when we make decisions to review our schedule or situation, we are teaching our children valuable lessons... lessons that maybe it has taken us time to learn!  It is okay to ask for help.  There is virtue on standing back and realizing that we may not be able to accomplish something we set out to do.  There is no shame.  We are the Beacon.

Learn to listen to the whisper of the Spirit.  Be a beacon.  Much love and support.

Melisa Nielsen

Inner Work 106

You made it!  This isn't an easy road (and if it was, go back and do the exercises again).  You may have to work through this series many times before you feel like you are making headway.  In truth, these could be part of your regular inner work routine.  I try to use them all, perhaps not together, but they each have a place in my overall spiritual tune-up each day.

The Sixth Basic Exercise:

It is simply to have persistence. 

No one floats through life.  No one has perfection without work.  Some people work harder rather than smarter.  Your task is to figure out how to work smarter so you aren't working harder - working harder just takes more of your energy.

Ways to work smarter that have worked for me:

• Referring back to the first exercise, differentiating the essentials versus the non-essentials.  This is vital to being able to walk forward and feel grounded. Once this becomes a habit then you can do it no matter where you are - you won't need to run to the potty, lol.
• Learn to let go of some things.  Look at your schedule and your work load - if all the things are essentials then see where your partner can help and also what tasks your older children (if you have some) can take off the pile.  Often the hardest part is asking for help, but remember that no one expects you to do it all.  It is between you and the Divine so work toward being comfortable asking for help and also saying no.
• Remember when it comes to school work that you will never get it all done.  Learning to prioritize when they are young will help tremendously as they get older.  When you do this then you can also keep a list with you of things you know you aren't covering in your main lessons and often times they creep in through other activities and an opportunity arises that you didn't see before - there's that freedom from bias exercise at work!!
• Take your time.  Remember this is not a race.  If you take your time and are constantly working, building and training your will then your children will see that.  It will have an enormous affect on them.  Even when they are older they will be watching you, how you respond, how you act in situations and this will help them to develop these things within themselves.  By about age 12, they can do some of these exercises too, before then, teaching them to meditate is a gift you can give them.  I will put together a separate post on meditating with your child - this can be very rewarding.
• Listen to or read something uplifting everyday.  What is coming out of your radio?  What are you reading?  What are you watching on TV during your down time?  There is a time for listening to Greenday and a time for listening to something inspirational.  I love to listen to Dr. Dyer, Esther Hicks, STEINER - there are so many.  Many of our followers love our radio show and while my children can't imagine someone actually wanting to hear me talk, some moms find it helpful.  I remember my kids telling me once they missed Wayne, lol... it took me a minute to realize they were talking about Dr. Dyer and that it had been a while, of course I was in a grumpy place when they said it and it really made me take pause.  Take a good look at what you are reading and watching too...are you reading gloom and doom?  Knock it off!  There are hundreds, even thousands of uplifting books so try those.  Are you watching crime shows constantly?  Psych doesn't count since it is funny, but if your main TV-watching when the kids are in bed is CSI or Law & Order then stand back a bit.  About three years ago I decided after having a little addiction going with L&O that I needed break.  I have never turned back.  There is so much on TV, too much, that even without cable I can find plenty of good programming or movies from our library to keep me going in my off hours (hahaha... I don't have many and it takes me three days to get through one episode of anything.)
• Swear off drama. If there are people in your life that constantly try to give you the bag of poo then say a prayer to meet new people or that these poo slingers will get a life of their own and leave you be.  You have enough to deal with trying not to create your own bag of poo that you don't need to be worrying about this.  Begin to attract into your life people who help you feel good about you.  This totally depends on you.
• Talk about positive things.  Misery loves company and I can get down and negative with the best of them if I let myself so my work is to stop myself before I talk and ask myself "is this really what I want God to hear me saying?"  If the answer is "no" then I really try to keep it to myself.  It takes work.

The above is a lot to chew on.  Take it in, go slow, find out what works for you and do those things, stay open to change when needed and work on being free from bias so that you can see opportunities to make things better for you and your family.

Go!  Be a Beacon.  You can do it.

Lots of love and encouragement.

Melisa Nielsen

Healing stitches

I had to giggle at something posted on our yahoo group this week... something about Waldorf being about more than just unschooling with gnomes... that really made me laugh.  It really is more than that.  It is more than handwork too - but when you understand handwork from the Waldorf perspective then it opens the world up to healing capacities you may never have imagined before. 

In the weeks since my accident, I have struggled about being frustrated with my recovery - I know head injuries are tricky and for some can heal very fast and others it takes weeks or months.  Well of course I wanted mine to heal NOW.  I kept telling myself that I couldn't take the down time - there's that will development rearing its ugly head!  God and I sorta had words about it - He won.  I surrendered.  I got out my knitting and began to work on a project I have been trying to finish since last year.  I noticed my head wasn't hurting so much and Erik noticed that after knitting for a few hours my speech was even getting better. 

This morning I was meditating on it and was reminded when our oldest was going through some of his hardest transitions with ASD a few years ago (from about age 8-10) knitting really soothed the savage beast inside him.  When I could get him to knit, he would calm and the wheels would begin to turn again making him open to direction. I recalled a passage from the book Teaching Handwork on page 17, where Steiner's discusses the curative affect knitting had on a child that had both mental and physical disabilities.

This is Waldorf - understand the curative aspects of this education for us all - not just gnomes and wax crayons - the message behind the man, behind the method, behind the wisdom.  Take it, make it your own.

Blessings in health,

Melisa Nielsen

Inner Work 105

We are in the home stretch!  Steiner's next exercise involves something that can be very hard so again I turn to some of the things Dr. Dyer says about gaining peace. One thing that sticks out in my mind is that Wayne often speaks of looking at each situation as it comes and trying to remain free of personal bias.  This is exactly Steiner's assignment...

Fifth Basic Exercise:

Freedom from bias - develop in oneself the feeling of approaching every new experience totally without prejudice - be ready to accept a totally new experience.

How many times in a day do we walk into a situation with our spouse or our children and our own bias keeps us from seeing what could be the whole picture?  More than once I have fussed at one child, usually the one that I assume would be causing the trouble, only to find out that I was totally off-base.  This exercise is good for working on relationships with children and adults alike.  When I can practice this one, it becomes apparent to me that I can give situations no energy, either positive or negative, until I feel like I have a full grasp of it all.  It allows me to practice the other exercises as well.  Think about how peaceful our world would be if everyone of us could approach daily life this way; conflict resolution would be so easy!

Make it an intention tonight as you mentally prepare yourself for tomorrow that you will begin the day without bias and see how you can work through the day.  How does it change things for you?   Today I would love to for you to comment on one situation in which you approached it with bias only to realize you were in the wrong.  As you work with this exercise, be sure to journal about it somewhere!

Blessings.

Melisa Nielsen

Accidents as catalysts

I know that sounds like a crazy, cryptic title.  Last week I had an accident.  An accident that I am still struggling to recover from. I am a big believer in the laws of attraction so of course my inner work this week as I have been down and recovering has centered around how it is possible to have attracted this accident to me.  My father-in-law would roll his eyes and say "stuff happens" - my mother-in-law would scoff at him and want to discuss my inner work findings.  Truth is, I know I attracted it.  Did I get up that morning and say "please God let me trip, twist my ankle, not have anything to catch me and fly head first into a concrete wall, get a concussion, black eye and be in pain and out of commission for a few weeks"  - of course not - the recovery over the last week has not been an easy one.  I usually out run most people I know and am not tired - I usually shoulder everyone and don't fuss about it - I usually hide the personal struggles of our family well... so where did I attract it? After resisting and praying, resisting more and praying more... I have come to peace with things... well mostly (I am human!)

I share this because I often think we don't look back on things, but it is from these "accidents" that we learn.  The accident happened on a wonderful day... we had wonderful business news, I was making a lot of progress on a new project and I was spending the day with my middle son (and things were going really well! lol).  The days following the accident have been hard and inter-twined with goodness.  My being forced to be still has given me more story time snuggled up with Sam and more one on one time with each of the other children as well.  The shift of the house went from the kitchen to my bed!  The pain has been peppered with breakthroughs.  I realized something in my praying... while I pray each day that I may work for a higher purpose, that our work may touch who it needs to... that I may effect the life of even one person for good... I know that it is okay if someone hates me.  It is okay if people don't accept me.  It is all okay. 

I remembered that a close friend shared a quote with me and for a long time I took it externally - thinking about those who fight, ridicule and otherwise provide resistance to our mission- the quote is attributed to Gandhi, I believe:

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."

At first I wasn't sure why this quote kept coming to me.  I wasn't sure if it was because of our personal struggles, our business growth... I couldn't figure it out.  I tried to apply simplicity to it "Oh that is just coming up because you are focusing on Buddha for Jacob's lessons." (the eight fold path was on my mind too) - but it was nagging at me.  Then I knew it had to do with my accident.  It was me.  I see myself as very confident so how could this be a manifestation of my own inner struggle?  

Somewhere inside lives that little voice in us all... you aren't good enough...you can do more...how can you sleep (eat, play with kids, etc.) when mom X doesn't have her crayons...you don't deserve down time...you must work harder, faster, longer in order to support your family... THIS is the best one... you aren't gainfully employed. How does that relate to Gandhi's quote? Well I have to realize consciously AND train my subconscious that I win when I stop resisting.  I don't have to be everyone's Waldorf... just mine.  I love what I do.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I don't have to impress anyone.  I am what I am.  I work hard, do my best and at the end of some days I struggle.  Then I crawl into bed, thank God for getting me through and pray for the wisdom and strength to do it again tomorrow.

I want to thank everyone who has sent me kind words.  I am healing.  My speech is not as fast as my writing and I often find myself grasping for words (like when I was yelling at children today!) The doctor says it will take time, more cranial sacral work and my continued inner work.  Working through the blocks, seeing through the pain and feeling the connections happen in my brain.

This is my journey.  Many blessings.

Melisa Nielsen

Inner Work 104

One of my favorite modern self-help gurus is Dr. Wayne Dyer.  Between Wayne and Steiner, I got through some very dark days on my journey.  I remember during my divorce, I would put one of Wayne's CDs on as I went to bed at night and let it work on me as I slept.  I made it through that tough time surprisingly grounded.  One of the things that attracted me to Dr. Dyer's work in the beginning was something he says frequently, "I challenge you to bring me depression in a bottle...depression is nothing more than regular people thinking depressing thoughts."  Does that make you mad?  I remember a time when it made me mad.  Now don't get me wrong, I do believe that depression exists but there are usually chemical, dietary or hormonal reasons that can be addressed through diet, exercise and hormone balance if one works at it.  From my study of Steiner, I believe it has a lot to do with temperament - an unbalanced temperament, polarized in any direction, would contribute to a depressed state, and this polarization could be harder to address than the chemical, dietary or hormonal reasons for depression!

The Fourth Basic Exercise:
Positivity - find something positive in every situation.

This will be very hard for some of you.  You may be struggling to keep your head above water, maybe you have four little ones and you can't imagine not living each day just getting by, maybe you are drawn to Waldorf because you know your children need it.  What you don't expect is that this journey is really about you.  You need to walk it before you can bring it to them.  Stop resisting and just work through it.  You can do it.  I will be your biggest cheerleader!  Lean on my testimony of living a happy life until you gain your own.  Crap happens, life happens...walk forward.  Look at your current drama and find something positive about it.

Add this exercise to the others and keep working.  If you aren't commenting on our blog about your findings, then be sure to keep a journal.  This is a journey worth chronicling.

Blessings!

Melisa Nielsen